what do you see in your reflection?
Attachment style goes back to Your childhood.
As children we come into the world pre-programmed to form an attachment with our first caregiver. Our survival depends on it. This unique bond dictates the kind of attachments we develop later—which affect our thoughts, reasoning, and actions.
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There are 4 GENERAL types of attachments.
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Only one is secure [it's rare anyone has it]. The other 3 attachments are insecure.
A 'SECURE' attachment is when the adult shows sensitivity and responsibility for the child's needs.
In an INSECURE attachment [with a sometimes abusive or sometimes neglectful parent for example]—affects how we think, communicate, and relate to our partner, our kids, extended family, friends and co-workers.
"In hatred as in love, we grow like the thing we brood upon. What we loathe, we graft into our very soul."
- Mary Ainsworth
4 types of attachments
which sounds like you?
Although you're more complex than a label.
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1) SECURE TYPE:
You tend to trust fairly easily, and are attuned to the emotions of others as well as your own. You're able to communicate any upsets directly. You lead with cooperative and flexible behavior in relationships.
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2) THE ANXIOUS TYPE:
You tend to have a sensitive nervous system and struggle to communicate your needs directly. You may tend to "act out" when triggered (example: this might be making your partner jealous in subtle ways, or making them pay by not spending time with you, etc.)
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3) DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT
Whether conscious of it or not...you downplay the importance of relationships. In most cases you're extremely self-reliant and avoid situations which require vulnerability or displayed emotion. Although you are known to be more vulnerable when there is a big crisis.
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4) FEARFUL AVOIDANT:
You are a little more dependent in relationships. In fact under the surface you fear rejection, moreso than the most people because of events in your past. This can contribute to a low self-esteem, and high anxiety in relationships.
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There are also sub-types of the main four above.
Becoming aware of your unique style and capturing "true" thoughts instead of false ones will influence your actions, words, and the success of your relationships.
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Which type do you identify with? Contact me below for a free 15-minute consult.
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